Here I Am Again...

Well here I am again... Trying my hand at this whole blogging thing!
I feel like I really need a place to document my journey, my frustrations, my accomplishments, etc... Just to write...
I would say this will be a lifestyle blog with a focus on health living because that is such a huge part of my life and something so important to me.
I think this is a good place to introduce myself and give a little background as to where I am now, and why I feel the need to vent a little these days.

I have always been a skinny person.  When I was a child I was scrawny... But I was a very picky eater.  I ate Campbell's soup and cereal.  That is pretty much it.  I don't think I broke 100lbs until high school, maybe... But even in high school I ate whatever I wanted. I was a cheerleader. I was active. I never paid attention to what I ate. But at the same time- I was picky and I didn't really eat a lot.  So it didn't really matter. I probably weight 110 or so at the most during high school.  But I did have curves by that time.  I started getting more shapely legs, hips, and a butt- in a good way!
My (now) husband and I met my junior year in high school.  After graduation we moved in together away from our family.  This was the first time I ever had to think about what to eat.  I was a waitress at Hooter's. (Don't judge- great money- and very innocent).  I ate there constantly.  We ate a lot of boxed food. I didn't know what I was doing. I think I did know how to cook tilapia on the George Foreman. But I'm pretty sure I never made it.  Eventually I gained about 30 lbs and because I didn't feel comfortable in that skimpy outfit anymore- I quit my job.

Realizing we didn't really know what we were doing living alone- at 18 and 21 years old- we moved back home.  I had to look for another part time job.  Oddly enough, at the first time in my life when I was uncomfortable with my body, I found one at a locally owned medical weight loss clinic.  The job description matched me perfectly- bubbly, happy, customer- oriented...  They focused on calorie counting coupled with a prescribed weight loss drug (think Phentermine).  I gave orientations to new patients where I taught them about portion control and counting calories, fat, and carbs... We counceled them and encouraged them to come in for their weekly weigh-ins.  We never taught them how awful all of those 100 calorie packs are.  As a matter of fact- we told people to eat them!  "Its a great snack!" Most people were there for the drugs.  I eventually started taking them.  They worked!  I didn't want to eat. I could eat a tiny side salad from Wendy's and be full for the whole day.  Knowing what I know now- that makes me sick.  I lost most of the weight I put on strictly by eating 1000 calories a day and taking Phentermine.  At this point I would still have considered myself a picky eater though.

Throughout college my palette started to change. I started trying new foods. I wanted to eat out a lot.  That quickly became something we did for fun.  Oh geez then add in the partying and drinking we did too! I would gain weight, get on Phentermine, lose weight, gain weight, do it again... I did that for 4 years. I never worked out though... I never even thought about it. I always just counted my calories.

We got engaged in December 2008.  In 2009- I graduated college in May, started my first FT job in June, closed on my first home in July, and got married in October.  I can't remember at what point I started gaining weight again. But I did. I'm pretty sure I tried the Phentermine a few more times. But never stuck with it. On a side note- what that does to your body is crazy. It makes you not want to eat. And it literally made me a crazy woman!  I was an emotional roller coaster! I bought my wedding dress some time in January of 2009. I got it altered to fit me probably a month or so before the wedding. On my wedding day- I couldn't zip it. I had gained weight in that short period of time.  Luckily, the dress had a V in the back and you couldn't see that it wasn't fully zipped.  I think at this point I was back up to 138 lbs or so...

I think at some point my husband and I started working out together at a local Snap fitness. But I don't remember when this was.  I still heavily relied on reducing my calorie intake significantly to even see any weight loss results.  In March of 2012 my friend Heidi asked me to run a 5K with her. I couldn't run. I couldn't run for a half a mile. I did it though.  After that race I decided I was going to be a runner.  With the sudden interest in blogs and social media- I became very interested in health and fitness.

I am on the far right

I started running several times a week. I even talked my friends into running 5k's with me. Some time in August someone told me about the term "clean eating."  I cut out all sugar, white pasta, white anything, junk food, etc... I lost about 3 lbs doing that. Then I found the Tone It Up girls, bought their nutrition plan, and followed their plan and workout advice while training for my first half marathon to complete in February 2013.  During this time I lost about 18 lbs total.  I went from 138 to 120 (at the lowest point).  I felt damn good about myself.  For the first time in a really long time- I felt super confident.  I ran 13.6 miles, everyone wanted to know what I was doing, how did I lose the weight, people came to me for advice, etc...

around 120lbs

And then we moved... to New Orleans.... Home of the best freaking food on earth... I kept running. But the weight has been slowly creeping back up on me since we moved in April 2013.  We love to eat out. I threw a lot of my clean eating principles out of the window.  We joined a gym..  I got extremely burnt out on running.  I got bored with it. I starting lifting weights in October 2013.  But because my nutrition was not on point- I've just been putting fat on top of muscle.  I got burnt out on cardio.

Now, I am aware that at no point was I ever fat or overweight... But I am talking about being at a point where I feel good in my clothes and hell, good naked in front of my husband.  I am not there today.  I have been very down on myself about it lately too.  The fact that I let my hard work go to waste really pisses me off. It wasn't easy for me to lose 18lbs because I am not overweight.  I worked really hard.  I woke up at 5am 6 days a week to run or do a TIU workout... Something... I am just looking for that spark again.  Some days I miss running. But then again- I can't quite find the excitement in that anymore.

So here I am today.  130 lbs currently... I am focusing on my body fat %.  If my scale at home is correct I am at 21%  BF.  My goal is to get under 20%.  I've been tagging along with my husband at the gym for the past week.  He is helping me to lift heavier weights.  But he is a tax accountant and soon enough he will be working late nights so I will be on my own. 

Eating is really my weakness. And since my weight lifting started I am even hungrier. I really love good food. And here in New Orleans there is so much of it. I really struggle with finding a balance between enjoying myself, not going overboard, & not feeling guilty. 

I am starting Beach Body's newest program, the 21 Day Fix, on February 17th.  If anyone is interested in joining me in my journey- just let me know! This focuses on portion control- which I desperately need. I am hoping it will teach me to notice when I have had enough. I have been known to eat until I literally feel sick. 

I am hoping this will help me to shed some body fat so that when my husband gets out of tax season I will be in better shape to see some progress from weight lifting.  I have also ordered T25 and Shakeology to help me reach my goals.  Until the 21 day fix starts I plan on doing T25 a few times in the morning during the week and lifting weights with him at the gym in the afternoons 4 days a week.

I plan on documenting my progress here and on Instagram  So feel free to follow along.  I am excited about this!!

*Sorry for the long post. I just feel like I needed a starting point to all of this!

*disclaimer- I feel like I need to say this again- at no point have I considered myself overweight. These are just my goals, my journey, and the things I struggle with.